Tuesday, December 30, 2014

the men of munchies: michael chernow

In 2014, the rates of households with cable television has declined. For example, I am sans a cable subscription and I stream everything online that caters to my schedule. I cook dinner at 7:57PM and then I watch Vice Munchies after because The Food Network is not within my reach.

I don't know how this Munchies: Meatball Shop video went under my radar, but it is about one month old now and features a native New Yorker by the name of Michael Chernow. Chernow is adorned with tattoos, a beautiful face and a voice of an angel. It's more than just the surface that makes Chernow attractive - it's his overzealous passion with balls, meatballs.

Monday, December 29, 2014

fuck andrew christian

Have you made your New Years plans yet? No? Well, I have and let me elaborate further. I'm staying home watching porn with a bottle of wine because fuck life. Or, instead of porn, what about the equivalent of porn, an Andrew Christian video.

What or who is Andrew Christian?

Andrew Christian is an underwear brand designed by guess who: Andrew Christian. Underwear is underwear, but the ethos behind it is problematic. It is an underwear brand targeted to gay men with unrealistic body types produced to be porn-esque. These are guys with large biceps, 6 pack abs and just enough jewels that their masc is still in tact. These guys are predominately white.

This New Years video, though, includes Asian men because of the collaboration with Zank, Grindr equivalent in China.


So homogenous.

I don't even get to touch other men. I only get to dance by myself showing off cool abs and stuff. Only white people get to touch and make out with each other. Only in the apex do I get to caress other men in an orgy.

Happy Fucking New Years.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

sale on sale, not a meta

In a perfect world, the perfect world where puppies use humans as slaves, where raisins don't exist and my Christmas shopping would be complete via drones. Wait, drones are already a thing. Well, in addition to all three, I would have a few hundred dollars left over because everyone in our society would have a few hundred dollars left over to spend on themselves or our canine masters.

These bad ass criss cross shoes are by Proenza Schouler: part fucking cool and part awesome. Cool and awesome are two completely different adjectives. The truth about sale according to Leandra Medine, is that it's not how much it cost, but how much you saved. With that truth, mantra or bullshit you want to sedate yourself with, we learn to justify it at any means. The retail price was currently at a laughable, but well reasoned luxury price of $935. That would be change if I made 6 figures, but I don't and I have to accept that.

Then there was the Black Friday sale and the Internet went into a consumer frenzy. The price dropped to half price and I said no because the shoes were still expensive to purchase something on trend. But now at a last call for desperation, they are now at 70% off and can be yours for $281 at SSENSE. Luckily for me and my feminine like sized feet (I don't size shame), I am about a 40 or 41 ladies.

I'm being apprehensive because of the return policy and the recent statement of my credit card.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

our relationship with totes, the bag

Today, while you are out and about this afternoon shopping on the high street in your metropolitan, see, if you can spot men carrying canvas tote bags. He is elusive and holds many things that require more than a few pockets.

Not all men would carry a canvas bag. He is secure with his sexuality. He is most likely gay. He is gay.

They're kind of a niche crowd. They live west of Bathurst or East of the DVP because Leslieville is having a renaissance. They're sipping coffee from R2 or Cafe Pamenar while carrying their freshly purchased vinyls from Rotate This or Sonic Boom. Sadly, they don't fit in the tote bags so he must proudly carry it on the side. They like shitty beers because shitty beers are cheap and shitty beers are actually fucking good. While not completely defined by their slender frame, they are wearing skinny jeans. They have feelings, and a lot of it too via journal entries in their Moleskine. They're probably studying graphic design and if they've already graduated, they're probably copywriting.

This niche crowd is complex and as pragmatic as his canvas tote bag is, what's inside is a little more convoluted.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

making informed decisions about brands, not life

An article released a few days ago on Business of Fashion propositions the question if we, the male population with disposable income to fuck around with, are willing to open our wallets to brands with its foundation in women's ready-to-wear or accessories.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

views: are they relevant?

Have you seen Miley Cyrus' -- party fuelled, drug referenced -- music video for We Can't Stop? Of course you have. It's amazing and it was my travel song of 2013. It has been viewed more times than there are people in America alone. She has the capacity to reach a global audience and twerking was what she preached among the masses. What about Kim Kardashian's sex tape with Ray J? While I don't have any hard statistics on said recorded coitus, I highly believe it's been viewed billions of time by the many vermin out there curious about interracial sex.

Then there are fashion videos that have barely reached a fraction of Miley Cyrus' We Can't Stop. Style.com's summary of Louis Vuitton Spring 2015 RTW video have only amassed 5,151 views. Vuitton is a luxury company that's number 10 on Forbes World's Most Valuable Brands and with revenue at $29.9 billion since November 2014. That probably equates to a whole lot of fucking people buying into a brand. My concern, probably not of Louis Vuitton as long as they see rising revenue, is that do their consumers even have any inclination to understanding the history, the story or the people behind the brand?

Friday, December 12, 2014

male idiot theory proves that men, are idiots

Hey guys, pals, bros, gender of the same sex. This is an amalgam of issues facing our gender this week and the solution to our problems, by society's standards, is for you to stick a dick up your ass and man the fuck up. 

If you, like me, plan on never getting married in the near future, then our weight will remain stagnant. Who needs a fucking piece of paper to make our relationship valid. It's antiquated, misogynistic and a financial burden. The tough part is when your marriage turns into divorce, you drink your problems away, you're going to get fat and lethargic says a study from Ohio State University. It's not just women that go through self-deprecating weight gain cul-de-sacs. Men have issues too and being conscientious of our weight is just the tip of the ice berg.

There's a relatively new theory in town and it's aptly named Male Idiot Theory (MIT).  From the British Medical Journal, the theory states that "men are idiots and idiots do stupid things." That's pragmatic and simple enough to understand even for the most laymen person, even if you are, an idiot. The Darwin Awards, it's a thing, is awarded to the human who "improves the gene pool by eliminating themselves from from the human race using astonishingly stupid methods." The study analyzed data from awards given from 1995 to 2014 with 318 cases. Of these 318 cases, 282 of them were awarded to males and only 36 were awarded to females. SMRT!

Beard baubles are trending, said no man ever. I don't have a beard and I can't grown one. I think beard baubles are a ridiculously amazing idea! Sure, you'll look like a gay parade, but that beard, though, means your masculinity is still in tact. 

It's the weekend. I think I'm going to watch Selena. 

like a true teenager, i loitered

My flight departed from YTZ to EWR at 13:30 and I was on schedule to land at 15:00. I land and like a lost child looking for his parents, I was looking for the AirTrain machine. I apologize New Jersey, but we need to divorce and I need to meet my lover: New York City. Our first encounter was back in 2010 and you abused my credit card to its apex. A few shopping trips there, a few cab rides here and the dinners, well, they weren't cheap and you never picked up the tab. Chivalry is still alive.

This time, like a true New Yorker, I learned to use the subway because somewhere in my brain, my amygdala had gone haywire. It wasn't too stimulating, you just need to give off the illusion that you know what you're doing and well, if I can fake an orgasm (I've never faked an orgasm, but it's a sensitive issue for men) then I can fake my I Know How To Ride A Subway In New York. I frequented restaurants, I shopped at Opening Ceremony and took a gander through Williamsburg because Grumpy.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

consider the turtleneck

Devonte "Dev" Hynes goes by many aliases that assumes an identity of space or a tart-like fruit. First, there was Lightspeed Champion who frankly, I didn't hear until now. That is some angsty pop shit where I don't want to relive my youth. Then there's Blood Orange, his most recent and popular pseudonym to date.

Blood Orange is a collaborator, father, lover to Samantha Urbani and has a deep infatuation for turtlenecks: his signature look. It has amalgamated vintage, 90's and elusiveness. While internet famous Jordan landed the latest American Apparel advertisements, I don't understand why Blood Orange didn't acquire them first? He's a walking AA billboard and appears to breaths its ethos down to the vintage frames and high-waited jeans.

Orange: niche style icon.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

lykke li covers drake because lykke li

Lykke Li covers Drake and the world continues to rotate. News broke out about this cover about a month ago, but here at Pacific Row where social media is non-existent like aliens in outer space(they're out there, though), this is all new shit to me.

Melancholic Swedish delight Lykke Li covers Drake's Hold On We're Going Home in what is probably the best cover in 2014. Li first debuted the track in London at Albert Hall in typical Li fashion. She cloaks Drake's song in her aesthetic as if it was originally her own, giving it a more lets play this song to cutting our wrists than out in da club.

Just to galvanize things further, Li uploaded a more intimate acoustic cover in a room with a man at the 50 second mark who puts his boots on. That was probably scripted, I don't know. He later proceeds to tighten up his boots because that's just what you do in the middle of covers.

Links: acoustic, non-acoustic and a S Club 7 reuinion you didn't know existed.

Beautiful artwork by yours truly.

Monday, December 1, 2014

circle jerk sale

It's the beginning of December, with shorter days and less light and really no reason to live at all, but if consumerism has taught me anything, it's that Cyber Monday is not a thing, but somehow, I have been coerced to support by association.

Hello Mr. magazine is a contributing writers magazine about men who date men. The independent magazine resonates more about the readers, the demographic it targets. They are the new generation of homosexuals frustrated by a lack of diversity in gay reads. DNA offers idealistic body types that require 4% body fat. Instinct regurgitates the same shit, easy on the Madonna, okay. Hello Mr., well, I learned to become a better writer, a better interior designer and from issue 4, that hair comes in all lengths.

I discovered the magazine with issue 2 and went on to collect issues 3 and 4. I felt a void. Like my bowels could no longer move. Issue 1 was missing from my collection of offensively priced, but well worth it Hello Mr. magazines that occupy my contemporary chair.

To the discerning gays with enough disposable income, issues 1 and 2 of Hello Mr. are on sale! That's $10 a piece! Think of it as a 2-for-1 special. Learn to master your relationship narcism on Instagram, style your outfit sans socks and learn to love your fucking self.

Friday, November 28, 2014

because you have better things to do: coast

Black Friday is relatively new to Canada and dumb as fuck. (I did, though, purchase some really justifiable sneakers from SSENSE.) This is not a holiday for us. We have to enter our vocation and stay there for eight whole hours leaving no time for us to shop. Wait, what is that? Oh, it has extended to the whole weekend. Great.

Is this America's attempt at trying to assimilate Canada into their belligerent capitalist ideals?

At your office or in your bedroom (because you are an unemployed writer), skip Black Friday by learning Aaliyah's dance moves from Rock the Boat. If you want, dance in costume with blue denim and a white crop top showing your midriff.

Change position, change position and coast.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

holiday gift guide for people with too much money

There is always that particular person on your holiday list that seems to be a proprietor of everything and every year you contemplate: "what else does this fucker need that he/she doesn't already have?" Everyone loves a tiny horse.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

if you're going to wear white

If there's one thing I truly, undeniably don't believe in, it's parties where I'm coerced into a certain dress code. The exception to this is Halloween. This weekend, for $142.20 + surcharges, you can get access to copious amount of shitty fucking beers and inebriated alpha bros at Bud Light's Sterilization Sensation.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

i went to a pop-up shop

The consumer season -- also known as Christmas -- is fast approaching and to no one's surprise, Beyonce drops a re-release of her self-titled album because why the fuck not ($$$). I'm not the type to order an eggnog and spend hours holiday shopping because that shit is depressing and I'm really just trying to ruin capitalism. That doesn't mean that I still can't enjoy myself. So, on this melancholic Saturday, I went to a holiday pop-up shop and purchased nothing.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

move the fuck over, bro

As an occasional subway rider, because sometimes life exists north of Bloor and east of Yonge, I intentionally comply to the mores of subway use. I pay my fare, I walk, not run to the platform, okay, sometimes I run and if a seat is a available, I quietly take my seat. Legs closed. I talk to no one because this is 2014.

In New York City, island of convoluted subway routes and a plethora of men appearing to give birth on the subway, is championing a campaign for men to deconstruct their masculinity. Closing your legs won't make you less of a man. You'll look polite, courteous and avoid the possibility of having a dick slip or a ball bulge. The campaign commences in January hoping to deter men of this heinous, albeit legal activity of spreading ones legs to consume more than their shared space.

The campaign is titled, "something new, something fresh." Sounds like a nice slogan for new douche users.

Monday, November 17, 2014

noggin accoutrements

This morning, residents of Toronto woke up to an amalgamation of rain and snow with feelings of confusion and possible reclusiveness. Let's inquire further by asking imperative questions. Do you call in sick and tell them your dog died? Do you bring an umbrella with you? Do you wear rain boots of snow boots or one on each? Rain jacket or winter coat? Are gloves appropriate? Sure. Toques? Yes, but not those fucking ridiculous looking 180 earmuffs.

Why? Because you do not want to look like you've aged 40 years and appear to still be living in the suburbs.

I feel, and you should too, that the 180 earmuffs, to a high degree, are redundant and will most likely not get you laid. If getting laid is your main concern, I suggest you burn them, douse it with gasoline and set that shit on fire. (Burning them will not actually get you laid.)

What I suggest, like it has been with the vikings, that you purchase a quintessential and functional toque to keep you warm. It will get you laid.* If you already own a toque, I am happy that you are having copious amounts of sex.

*I can't guarantee that unless you are professionally suave.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

ezra koenig: singer of songs and man of sweaters

Since its evidently sweater week here on Pacific Row and with the weather being conducive to the aforementioned knitwear -- why not look to none other than swooning lead singer of Vampire Weekend and professional sweater wearer Ezra Koenig for style advice. Somewhere in the previous sentence could have used a period, or a semi-colon. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

new news, but not new news

Today in old news, but new news for me and everyone else without an Instagram account -- Monocle now sells clothes. The Monocle reader is well educated, a world traveler, probably works in graphic design, could be a lawyer, too and enjoys reading the Financial Times. I'll accept if you read Playboy, no one is judging.

You can now sport Monocle Voyage and carry Monocle because you are a very important person.

The inspiration for the collection is designed for the business traveler in mind. He is discerning. He's all about that same-day shipping from Amazon. His clothes aren't being manufactured in Bangladesh or Cambodia. Nope. He's expecting garments made from Italy or Japan because quality is key and clothes should be versatile and timeless.

I like the direction you are going Monocle Voyage. I am in the market for a high-quality basic jumper in melange grey. As it so happens, you are selling a melange grey jumper. And because your creative team is based out of London, I thought I would substitute sweater for jumper.

Photo: Monocle

Friday, November 7, 2014

redeeming your personal space

A quick Google search of men's bedrooms left me with photos of dark, impersonal and a real disconnect of how I would like to see my personal space. They were mainstream, lack lustre, dull and banal. They left me stagnant and impotent. I don't want to be inspired by dated views of hanging a bikini clad Sports Illustrated model on my wall or a pool table being the focal point of my "man cave." I'm looking for clean and personal interior design to reclaim my masculinity -- my personal space.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

what your sneakers say about you

The world (I am speaking on behalf the world) and myself are exhausted at all the Jian Ghomeshi headlines flooding my newsfeed. Dear CBC, I understand you fired Ghomeshi, but honestly, inform me about Ebola, the US midterm elections or how to make apple pies because apple pies are democratic and delicious.

Therefore, if we all have to suffer perpetual news about Jian Ghomeshi and his hiring of criminal lawyer Marie Henein, then one more article about Common Projects won't hurt.

My attempt is finding who is Common Projects' niche demographic? Who is willing to shell out $400+ for a pair of beautiful Italian hand crafted sneakers with numbers on the periphery? Who even has that money?  I know who. It lands on two ends of the spectrum: the super cool alternative hipsters and the finance bros.

The super cool ultimately commences the trend. Slowly, one by one, like glaciers melting in the arctic, a cool person is purchasing a pair of Common Projects to complete their street style ensemble and permeating coolness. And then, shit hits the fan and the bros just ruin everything. (I don't purposely mean to target the bros, but they are an easy target.) They have money, they want to show you they have money and a new haircut and alas: Common Projects sneakers and a fresh fade. I once considered it a latent staple in my wardrobe, but the ubiquity of the sneakers is making them an uneasy footwear to consider.

I don't want to be an asshole, but Holt Renfrew really needs a new buyer for their mens sneaker department.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

new banner, same shit

Surely, you can understand my absence as of late. I was busy planning the now world famous local celebrity Jian Ghomeshi Halloween costume only to realize that, that Ghomeshi costume was not as original as I thought. It permeated social media rather quick during and post-Halloween. There's a thing called regram? I am at lost with my generation.

Instead, I went with an even more original costume: Waldo. You can't fuck around with a classic.

I have been dabbling in the dark arts of Photoshop and I gave birth to this banner today (see: above). It only took about an hour and a half in labour and editing was a breeze. I am truly proud of this banner like a father is proud of his first born child.

You can finally start calling my blog by its true form: Pacific Row. Not Pacific Crow, as many of you have probably been obsessively wondering. Or, my neurotic tendencies were obsessively wondering for you. Ultimately, this is about branding. Getting to the real shit about what this blog is about: what it means to be male, fashion, the sadness of climate change and whether or not you should attend that dumb ass Gentlemen's Expo (coming soon, probably this week, I don't really know).


Friday, October 24, 2014

pre-drink to lolawolf this weekend

This is Musical Tears, where I usher great bands that are often to convoluted for me to really offer an objective review. Seriously, though, I leave it to the professionals: Amazon users.

I present to you Zoë and friends. Akin to Beyonce and friends, but a whole lot more angst and less about divvying the bills. That's not the case here, the band, Lolawolf, comprises of Zoë Kravitz, Jimmy Giannopoulos and James Levy. They are based out of New York and are not concerned about popularity. You guyssss are soups kewllll. 

Lolawolf's intention is to find a niche audience: Feminists (see: Jezebel review).

They recently toured with Lily Allen and is currently opening for singer-cum-hippie designer Miley Cyrus in Australia. They've been reviewed by Pitchfork, Noisey and Vibe. Vibe is kind of an anomaly. No?

You can stream their music on Soundcloud because independent records stores in Toronto be like: "Sorry man, I don't have Lolawolf." WHERE THE FUCK DO I FIND A PHYSICAL COPY OF LOLAWOLF IN TORONTO?!!

Photo: Brad Ogbanna 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

my first vogue

Katy Perry tweeted at Yelle, world domination ensues.

I had no expectations entering a Yelle concert last night at The Mod Club. I had just finished an 8 hour shift and what I really needed was a shitty beer. That shitty beer cost me $8 + tip. I proceeded to the dance floor alone swaying back and forth to Lemonade (the opening band), tearing about said overpriced pilsner.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

increase your babe status with a quilted jacket

There are classics, like the dessert boot, that should remain a staple in your wardrobe. Other pieces should include a good pair of jeans (which, I don't own, condemn me!), a breton shirt in a myriad of colours, a Proenza Schouler PS1 and the quilted jacket. I played around with the classics, but it's relative.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

le basic bro

This is thee year for the height of the Basic Bitch. Retailers are stocking yoga pants consistently, Lauren Conrad: Queen Basic Bitch, got married and Starbuck's released their famous Pumpkin Spice Latte (P.S.L. for short) extra early for the basic bitches that just couldn't wait. Crazy basics.

Then, I got cogitating, what about the basic bro's that they attract, that perpetually sexually assault them while they down their smooth Coor's beer. Who the fuck is still drinking Coor's beers. Okay, their rebuttal, though, the babes were "asking" for it.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

conceding to black

Not that all black eeerrrryythinggg. Get your English together, millennials.

I migrated to Toronto just over two years ago to escape the perpetual boredom of suburban life. I used to ride bikes on sidewalks. Now, I'm the person pushing them off the sidewalks. (Not literally.) The city that I left just recently opened an Urban Outfitters. The city I was born and raised in is doomed to cultural appropriation.

My style hasn't evolved too much living under the fascist and racist Rob Ford. I committed to my staples for fall: skinny pants, sweaters and some modest footwear. I gravitated towards colour, occasionally neutral palettes and added flair with colourful socks and scarves. I was ultimately contesting Toronto's natural inclination towards black.

I didn't understand an all black ensemble. I didn't want to understand it. I went to school for sociology and more than anything, this is kind of the perfect case study, right? Of course it is. Throughout the years, I have opened myself to understanding why Toronto is permeated in black outfits.

It's easy, really. Black pants, black shirt, etc, etc, you get it. It took you a whole ten seconds to get ready. What I had qualms with, was that, I felt it was more of a conformity tactic. Toronto likes to be safe, sartorially speaking. There wasn't much range in textiles, cuts and quite frankly, personality.

As of late, I am slowly introducing black into my wardrobe juxtaposing them with colour to create a personal sense of style. Think black pants cropped to expose about three inches of ankles, black leather boots and a colourful, yet muted plaid shirt because I'm Canadian. It's formal-cum-casual and rewriting the the rules to black.

Black, count me in.

Photo: surprisingly, I found this on MTV.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

four friends walk into a bar, an anecdote on sexual identity

Fashion is funny. It also cloaks you in homosexuality.

This story begins Friday night at a bar -- named after an adorable rodent -- between a group of four friends. Or as Carrie Bradshaw says, "a squirrel is just a rat in a cuter outfit." The squirrel is like J.W. Anderson, where as the rat is like the mall staple Jack & Jones.

My friend, the squirrel, but lets call him Boner (it's synonymous with his actual surname), dresses well with confidence. Boner has a penchant for cheerful socks, fitted jeans, collared shirts, fall jackets and knows the difference between oxfords and monk straps. He's a heterosexual that is pursued by both members of the sexes.

Why? How? I don't get it.

My other friend, lets call her Hydrangea (it's synonymous with her actual surname [I'm so good at this!]), has null gaydar, but knows how to navigate an a-line skirt to perfection. Hydrangea thought Boner was a homosexual based on how he presented himself. We all had a good laugh and she proceeded to explain herself saying that he just dressed, "too well." We subsequently continued to drink some more.

I have to wonder, though, in a denizen of relatively well-dressed people, how do you differentiate between gay and straight based on sartorial choices? I know homosexuals that think cargo pants are trending this fall, you would assume they are "straight". On other hand, you have straight men who enjoy hand welted footwear, you would conclude they're "gay". They probably are gay, they're just "masc". Duh.

Me, I would say I am well-dressed. I embody a post-minimalist look. I don't know what that is, but sure. Hydrangea already assumed my sexuality.

Was it the moustache? My exposed ankles? My mannerisms? My left-wing ideologies?

Photo: Le 21eme

Friday, October 3, 2014

proenza schouler hints at menswear, just slightly

All the hoopla surrounding fall fashion magazines began back in late August/early September only to my demise that only in Canada am I able to purchase them now in store. It's fucking October. Sure, with the wonders of the Internets, I was able to view all the covers and ads online. The feeling, though, of flipping through physical paper intensifies the experience and you lose yourself in the moment like I did at Lykke Li earlier this week. I have those Little Bit dance moves on lock. "Ooohh, Ooohhh."

Prior to the aforementioned concert, I had some leisure to go to a shop in hopes that Dansk would be available for purchase. To my surprise, there it was: Dansk: The World's Most Independent Fashion Magazine. There were two cover options, one with Matthew Terry and the other with Elisabeth Erm. By default, and by default I mean gay, I chose Terry.

The autumn/winter issue features a Q&A with the designers behind Proenza Schouler, Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez offering insightful answers -- with a humourous tone -- about fashion. In fashion as of late, there's this strong discourse about the direction of fashion. Is fashion too commercial? Is it necessary to have pre-collections? Why were there Barbies at Moschino? And will there really be a menswear collection?!!

There's dialogue. That's enough to excite my loins.

McCollough begins with, "We're talking about it. But, I don't know... I like the idea of menswear also on a selfish level. I mean, you could just create what you need, fit everything on yourself, and like...."

And Hernandez humourously ends with, "What, you think you're a sample size now?"

I am not a sample size, but I will gladly take the burden of consuming Proenza Schouler. I'll take ladies wear too, man.

Monday, September 29, 2014

fashion inquiries

In my early childhood years, I was never an early adopter of fashion. I played with fashion dolls and wore my cousin's high heels, but in retrospect, that was more of an indication that my sexuality was skewed more to being a homosexual.

Fashion didn't become relevant until I was probably 18. I started buying Vogue and began to read it religiously and consuming everything it offered. Style.com didn't exist in my reality back then and the only coverage I got of the runway was in magazines. Then, the all-too addicting YouTube came out and accessibility to runway videos became more palpable.

I'm 27 now. I've surrendered my teenage angsty skater look for urban minimalism (or, at least I try to embody this look) with a dash of arbitrary prints. My roster of magazines now include: Dansk, LOVE, Fudge, Fantastic Man, AnOther, i-D, et al to show case my discerning taste. I've mastered the art of mixing high and low (by high-low I mean COS and vintage) and that fashion really isn't about the clothes; it's about how you wear the clothes, your attitude. Most importantly: it's a business.

Business of Fashion and i-D have collaborated to create a documentary-like trailer titled Fashion At Work. A series of 15-minute videos of one-on-one interviews with fashion's key players. The trailer includes a plethora of influential people in fashion from various aspects of the business. There's Style.com critic Tim Blanks probably reacting to Heidi Slimane dropping the Yves in Yves Saint Laurent. Blogger Susanna  Lau of Style Bubble is shooting model Binx Walton. Suzy Menkes is just being as modest as ever. Then there's Alexa Chung, multifaceted fashion person with a sexy raspy man voice pondering who exactly are the fashion elite.

I want to know, who is in charge of the cerulean blue effect?

Friday, September 26, 2014

fitness psa: you're sporting fitness all wrong

I'm going to declare it right now -- like Fergie --  I love working on my fitness. The exercises I enjoy most are cardio related like the bicycle with its two wheels and sturdy frame, relative to the iPhone 6 Plus, and running. In keeping my lithe frame at its apex, I kind of gave up on running because running shoes are expensive (food or shoes?), but I'm biking today, somewhere. Maybe I'll get lost north of Bloor like last time looking for an American department store.

Fitness clothes, man. Where did society go all wrong? They function for one purpose and one purpose only. IT'S FOR THE FUCKING GYM ONLY. They are not this lifestyle bullshit. There is no grey line between gym and lifestyle. If Europe can differentiate between work and life, I'm sure we North Americans can apply that to yoga pants.

Yoga pants: gym. Trousers: everything else. Done.

Fitness accoutrements, particularly the Goodlife gym bag they offer you for free for joining their service, are as ubiquitous as the gyms themselves. The bag doesn't discriminate against social classes, race, colour, gender or sexuality. Oprah scream: EVERYONE GETS ONE!

In the Financial District, there are men in suits carrying their Goodlife bag to the gym after their mundane 8-5 office job to perpetuate their bro-ness. The students in sweatpants, they have one and they probably have an organic chemistry textbook in there, maybe a few condoms too. Don't forget the basic bitches. They love Goodlife bags like they love Kate Spade purses. Ubiquity is fun and unique and it's a shared experience. Did that make sense? I'm not sure.

I'm going to say it, the bags are kind of ugly (this bag belongs to my roommate, I know you read this so.... sorry in advanced). Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess. It functions and that's fine. It can die happy because it has served its purpose in life. To have you sign up for a one-year contract post-New Years and to never attend again because yay corporations for shaming you on your lethargic state!

I'm not giving you alternative gym bag options.

It doubles as a backpack! That's an alternative, right?

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

analyzing service speeds

All I can offer you right now is a screenshot grab because I'm in the midst of a self-taught education program with YouTube. I am learning Photoshop. I'm learning how to crop, copy and paste and add sepia tones. I already know that basic shit. I might as well enrol in the ADVANCED classes because I'm super precocious.

In exciting e-commerce news, Mr. Porter announced that they'll offering next-day shipping to Toronto. I'm well aware that the denizens of Toronto like to complain a whole fucking lot about absolutely the most unnecessary shit. Toronto, while you are allotted a certain amount of complaining time, direct that aggression to the TTC: the wait times, the sardines packed streetcars and subways that seem to non-chalantly bypass potential passengers, the fare hikes, et al.

Remedy the aforementioned aggression by ordering the Ami shearling-collar wool bomber jacket to have it delivered to you by tomorrow, but can't wear until it actually gets, yah know, cold. Notice how the jacket is styled with heather grey pants? HEATHER GREY PANTS!!

Speedy service at an exorbitant price. The price per wear, though, is a different story.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

juxtaposing fall colours

I normally celebrate the first day of fall by ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte, P.S.L. for short (obvs.), walk around in joggers and smelling that fresh, crisp air. That whole shit right there, I would never do any of it, minus the smelling of the fresh, crisp air because I need to live, duh.

Over the past few days, alright, weeks, I have been contemplating the perfect colour palette for my fall wardrobe. Should I concede to black? I know I can't don orange, but should I investigate further? Why was it so warm out earlier today that I could have worn shorts, but not really because I started work at 8AM and at that hour it was unsettlingly chilly.

Still pondering?

When in doubt, look to the French because clean lines and neutral palettes is what they're championing. Caroline de Maigret, model, mother and muse, was sporting one of those effortless ensembles with a confounding colour combination. Did she just wake up one morning and decide she was going to wear heather grey and camel? Yes.

Pay attention to how the clothes fit, not too tight and not too loose, which really allows for perfect movement. The same kind of flow you would expect from a French women's hair. Layer with a tailored camel coat and black accessories and this uniform takes you from day to night.

Repeat the look everyday. Wash hair once a month.

my night with lena dunham at just for laughs

This is going to be a little obsessive and I’ve already discussed more Lena Dunham than I have about spring ’15 collections currently strutting down the runway, but sometimes, one more post about Dunham won’t cause any harm.

I went to see Lena Dunham at Just For Laughs in Toronto on Saturday and I must tell you everything because you need to live vicariously through me. It goes like this:

The sea of women permeating the outside box office was in her 20’s, white and probably a feminist, like Dunham herself. There were men, probably the boyfriends, probably the gay best friend and one bro. Experiences are one of a kind and that evening amalgamated a homosexual feminist hipster and an advertising bro indifferent to equality to hear a voice of our generation speak.

The price to hear Dunham read an excerpt from her upcoming memoir titled, Not That Kind of Girl, was a little steep. Dunham being a headliner was charging $69, or something like that, but being a friend and roommate to an advertising bro has some perks: FREE TICKETS BITCHES!!

The seats were so high in the balcony area that I completely forgot where I was when the opener, of course, was making innocuous Jewish jokes and that every Californian neighbourhood is essentially a thriving Mexican neighbourhood. 

Lena Dunham finally arrived from the right side of the stage sporting one of those trending outfits you’d see only shot by Tommy Ton during fashion week that included a dress and pair of pants. The electric dress that Dunham wore by Toronto designer Erin Kleinberg was so luminous that I forgot that I could barely see her mouth speak. We must not discount her platinum blonde hair because that was an extension of her luminous Batman signal.

To sum up her excerpt, Dunham read a chapter of when she was at camp with a plethora of hormonal raging girls and witnessed a young boy aggressively masturbating to what she felt was an attack on her. The neurosis was so blatantly obvious, but she was not in any form denying her neurotic tendencies.  

The show proceeded to a Q&A with Jian Gomehsi asking Dunham about the memoir, nepotism, feminism and about her first time in Toronto. The memoir was created because she didn’t want it to be so cliché to write it at 40, the nepotism rumours can be put to rest because apparently it’s bullshit, feminism is where she controls what she can do with her body and Dunham thinks Sarah McLachlan is from Toronto. She is from Nova Scotia. 

The final installment of the show ended with a Q&A from the audience. The questions came from women waving their hands so eagerly to have their questions answered directly from Dunham. The first question was not a question, more of a redundant statement of how much love she had for Dunham. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I’m not tweeting to @RealSMG every hour on the hour, but who’s counting. There were also questions ranging from the bounty that Jezebel wanted for the untouched photos from Vogue to the necessity for a male ally. She answered everything accordingly and ended at that.

I noticed from my peripheral view that my friend would occasionally peep at his phone probably wondering when the show would end. You don’t browse at your phone when Dunham is in your presence. She has important shit to say about ISIS, Republicans and ketchup chips. The question of the male ally got me thinking, do we need more bro’s being feminist? I previously mentioned that my friend is indifferent to feminism. During university, he was enrolled in a gender studies class only to be castrated by the professor for being male. I told him he had a radical feminist. My friend is white, male and in his 20’s and that constitutes as “power” in our society, right? So utilize your privilege and give feminism a chance, brah.

If Lena Dunham can't change him, maybe this recent speech by Emma Watson will compel him. I cried.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

what does your data capacity say about you?

How much data, is too much data? I know the answer to how much too little data is and that is a measly 500MB.

I recently switch phone providers after I felt Rogers was extorting me for what I was getting the bare minimum at a soaring cost. I spent an hour of my precious time at cancelation and they offered me nothing. Okay, they offered me something, but I deferred it. Did I feel entitled to some benefit after four years, sure. I paid my phone bill on time. It was that simple. I cancelled.


My new phone plan has voice mail. I have never had a phone with voicemail before and I felt like I was in the future where Miley Cyrus quit singing and solely focused on her Dirty Hippie jewelry. My first message was from my roommate telling me inappropriate things. I learned she doesn't speak Spanish.

While I am reaping the benefits of voicemail, Canada-wide calling and the arbitrary coupons here and there, my data is miniscule. If you're ordering the large combo, I am getting the kids meal. The exchange of currency-to-features is fair, I mean, I could definitely use more data, but I'm learning to budget accordingly. The aforementioned 500MB lasted me about 20 days and I am relying on wifi where available. I'm not an important person so I'm not expecting e-mails every hour. Although, I am a little withdrawn from not opening those American Apparel mass e-mails every day.

500MB of data is for pragmatic people, like me. The FOMO's are looking at 3GB plus who are committed to editing their life via social media.

Photo: icanteachyouhowtodoit

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

praising the sweatshirt

While the discourse surrounding sweatpants has a lazy, indolent and lethargic connotation, its partner in crime, the sweatshirt, tells a different story. You see, the sweatshirt, with a history of comfortable leisure is a piece you can dress up to your friend's adult circumcision party or dress down to pick up some pumpkin from the field at your local orchard.

Leave it to Acne Studios to create the quintessential minimalistic sweatshirt that is both luxurious and wearable. Yes, it is expensive for something casual, but it is also affordable for something designer. You know that dictum: buy better, buy less. This applies.

As the piece is relatively casual, I suggest a crisp white shirt, raw denim and oxfords to the aforementioned mutilation fete. If that kind of party isn't on your calendar in the near future, the pumpkin picking sure is. Wear it as is with plaid trousers and white leather sneakers and you'll be baking pumpkin pie come October.

cognitive dissonance with jenna lyons

Jenna Lyons, creative director of J. Crew, mother and has cognitive dissonance in regards to sweatpants.

I want answers.

Here at Pacific Row, the mention of uncivilized sweatpants is akin to the mentioning of "he who shall not be named" and that is a unfathomable statement. While we don't talk about the aforementioned epithet, it sometimes needs to be discussed.

Leandra Medine, Man Repeller blogger with an affinity for footwear, interviewed Lyons for a swift Q&A and, that sometimes, you need a mirror to put on lipstick. Leandra asks: "sweatpants or sweating?" Lyons responds to a stern, made my mind up eons ago, with a "neither."


I was confounded by how she responded because of the pleathora of these items on the J. Crew website. There are a total of 11 sweatpants, not including sweatshorts, with an average price of $100. If you are "neither", Lyons, remove the sweatpants from your roster because cognitive dissonance leads to sadness and things. Don't fret, there's an approach called dissonance reduction.

Essentially, burn them all!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

saeed jones gets the hello mr cover treatment

Say hello to Saeed Jones, editor of BuzzFeedLGBT, writer and the new cover star of Hello Mr.'s fourth issue I like to call: look at that hype nose ring! While gingham seems to be trending for NYFW, I am championing nose rings or even something more deviant, the septum piercing.

Um, isn't this a homosexual hipster magazine and therefore shouldn't his shirt be buttoned all the way to the collar. Okay, I didn't mean to pigeonhole the PBR subculture, but if I button my shirt all the way near my Adam's apple, then Jones should be too, right?

My qualm and I know there has only been four issues, but why does Mr. Jones, a person of colour, get the black and white treatment? The last three issues, predominantly graced with white men on the cover, were treated to colour and other things associated with colour, like FFEEEEEELLLIINGGGGGSSSS.

I'll have to pick up the issue at the local Easy Tiger Goods and survey the magazine, putting that sociology degree to practice.

Photo: Hello Mr.

Monday, September 8, 2014

caption this: when in bushwick

All the great parties are happening in Bushwick and this is just an innocuous indication that gentrification is happening or just, simply, where all the weirdos like to hang. Looking at you Zosia Mamet.

There's nothing innocuous about gentrification. I had a man call me out for buying a $50 vintage ladder in Parkdale and for your information, I bartered it down to $45.

Alexander Wang, master of sportswear, who's s/s '15 collection was inspired by speed and swiftness, was photographed here with pasties wearer Miley Cyrus. Together, they read mean tweets about themselves while Ladyfag does her thing. Really, though, what are you two reading?

Caption this.

Photo: TheCut

Saturday, September 6, 2014

cooking eggs with hannibal buress

It's Saturday morning and all I want to do at this very moment is skim through Style.com for fashion week updates and weep about how I can't see Imran Amed today of Business of Fashion. My schedule doesn't allow me to be in his presence so, ahem.

There's two options on how I could start my morning right now. 1. I could go down one floor to the kitchen and eat some eggs and home fries that my roommate just freshly made, or 2. I could stay in bed and watch Broad City's Hannibal Buress teach us how to cook eggs on my bed. Yum, phantom eggs.

Are we going to talk about how his character Lincoln feels objectified because all Ilana wants is sex?

No? Enjoy your fucking weekend.

He doesn't know how to cook eggs and you are not living life until you add the ARUGULA!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

male models, where are they?

The convoluted weather of September douses us with sweltering afternoons and sweater weather nights and around that proverbial sartorial corner is: September issues. With more interests than ever, models are gracing the covers of fashion magazines like they did in the zeitgeist of Supermodel stardom of the 90's.

There's a charge of "Instagirls" on Vogue US, a plethora of veterans on Vogue Italia, Vogue Japan is celebrating icons, Daria Werbowy lands two solo covers at WSJ Journal and Interview and Kate Moss has four different covers for Another Magazine.

Why are you making me choose Another? Why?

There's this discourse about the celebration of female models and that's extraordinary, but in an industry dominated by women, where are the male models? London model Charlie Ayres Taylor lands the cover of 10 Magazine looking cozy as fuck, highest-paid male model Sean O'Pry only has one cover and is sharing it with Emily DiDonato on V Magazine and Calvin Klein model Matthew Terry blessed with society's standard of physical beauty also shares a cover with another model on V Magazine and is also on Dansk by his lonesome brooding self with three cover options with different models.

Where is Clement Chabernaud, Jon Kortajarena or Armando Cabral?

I never pictured Terry to be modeling for the high fashion variety. He always seemed normal to me in those Calvin Klein ads, which are pretty commercial. Then he appeared on my favourite fashion magazine, Dansk, and I asked myself, is Matthew Terry high fashion? He's gracing the confidence issue and his testament to the cause is that Terry is, confident. He's sporting a contrasting collared shirt, slicked back hair and a brooding disposition only synonymous with a Gareth Pugh collection.

He's championing for male models everywhere with confidence.

Photo: Dansk Magazine

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

zara does more than shearling

We are currently in a post-labour day mood and that means recovering from last night's debauchery. While some people have obligations to attend, I am at home on this fucking monsoon of a day painting wood. I'm prepping my mental state for fall and curating a mental closet because a physical collection of all the pieces I want will place me in debt.

Zara's new fall campaign has me aroused for a variety of reasons. Let me tell you, people. My trend-forecasting skills, beginning with shearling making a monumental return is on par with what I have been predicting since this summer. Burberry abused its shearling powers back in the fall of 2010 by shearling anything Christoper Bailey could get his hands on. All I need this season is a shearling coat, perhaps of the denim variety via Lykke Li's No Rest For The Wicked music video or the one I championed from the Louis W for A.P.C. collection.

Another historical, if not profound moment, in my eyes anyway, is that while yes, shearling is making a resurgence, there is a minority co-fronting their campaign. Fashion has always been a little white-washed and fast-fashion chain Zara is sending a positive message by using Japanese model Daisuke Ueda. His pedigree includes: walking Hermes s/s 15, perpetual face for Uniqlo, graced the cover of Manifesto and many more, respectively.

While the Asian community is barely visible in mainstream media, especially television and movies, this ad is enough to want me walking into Zara looking for a shearling coat to accompany these mom jeans I found at H&M.

I have this friend who likes to create a spectacle when an Asian person graces anything in the media. Duh! It's like seeing Big Foot in person.

Photos: Zara

Thursday, August 28, 2014

how to travel

Many of my dearest friends are from suburban towns who consider their four wheelers like their first born child. For me, my single speed Pierriot bicycle is like said metaphor. Albeit, it's more light, smooth and kind of enhances my urban babe status. I'm enamoured.

I juxtapose the differentiation between me and my friends because when they come to visit, we are not taking the bus and we are not riding the subway -- we are riding bikes. They hesitate. It's the only efficient way to get around this fucking city and I play the game of beat the streetcar and bikers on cruisers.

The friends I mentioned, they get a feeling of anxiety with the idea of riding in the city because it seems chaotic and just down right ludicrous, but once they delve in, it's really just like riding your bike to grandmas. So when HBO released this Girls teaser of Hanna falling to her imminent death, I thought of my friends who don't ride bikes.

This is sort of a P.S.A. to start riding bikes.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

dunham, a reading

The weather earlier today was conducive to layering that in the middle of August, I put on a jumper and a denim jacket over that. I biked to Fresh at Queen and Shaw and while normally I would have been drenched in underarm and back sweat, I was essentially sweat-free. Is this the equivalent of a polar vortex?

Lena Dunham is going on a US book tour to promote her book Not That Kind of Girl and while she's not officially touring Toronto, she is coming. She's one of the headliner's for Just for Laugh's at the going rate of $69 and you receive credits to other shows like the amazing duo of Broad City.

I love you Dunham, but I'm going to save my $69 because I found this video of you reading from your book that can be seen up to 1080pHD and I kind of felt like I was physically there or you were physically in my bedroom. With just under 4000 views, this video is pretty exclusive, yah know.

The content is self-deprecating as fuck.

toronto men's fashion week turns conservative

My friend came to my vocation of choice today to ask if I could be his plus one to Toronto's Men's Fashion Week and I told him I would think about it because there was salmon in the fridge waiting to be baked at home. I chose salmon and brown rice and it was delicious.

I was going to write a post about fashion championing gender-neutral collections and while, yes, I still am, I will be amalgamating gender-neutral collections with Toronto Men's Fashion Week.

The Guardian published an article on Monday about gendered fashion becoming more fluid with one another. What we're seeing in fashion is designers creating a new aesthetic for men that are are progressively becoming more unorthodox. Men in dresses, skirts and even fur shoes adorning the models like you would see at Acne Studio's men's fall 2014 collection.

We as a society -- with a plethora of retail options -- are essentially bored of what we're offered. Look to Pelayo Diaz (above) of Kate Loves Me who is donning the ubiquitous galaxy jumper from Balenciaga's fall 2012 women's collection. Or you'll likely see Leandra Medine of The Man Repeller in a men's Uniqlo shirt because she got it for free. Don't forget about me, I own a few women's pieces because my slender and short legs look amazing and also too, there are more fucking options.

Toronto Men's Fashion Week kicked off on August 12 with a roster of local talents with a little unwarranted caveats. From every article I have read, it sounds like the TOM team are a bunch of fascist heteronormative bros knighting themselves as the gender police. Toronto designer L'uomo Strano, who's aesthetic is skewed in androgyny, has been removed from the schedule due to accusations that his line was too feminine.

Can I ask TOM, what is too feminine? You state that you want to join the ranks of other high profile men's fashion week like Pitti Uomo or London Collections: Men, who have international designers like J.W. Anderson and Rick Owns creating a "feminine aesthetic", but are world renowned. Would you like to be world renowned by limiting people's creative visions?

UPDATE: L'uomo Strano has been reinstated and TOM's PR team can finish their shopping at Mark's Work Wearhouse.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

your best friend julia sarr-jamois

There's this blog circulating the Internets called I Want To Be A Roitfeld and while that blog frames valid arguments on how one should become pseudo-Roitfeld's, instead, I Want To Be A Sarr-Jamois is more fitting in my life at the moment. Not because she's tres chic year 'round, but because she sports orange and that frames my argument that vicarious living is the best way to really have it all.

SSENSE, purveyor of commodity deemed to edgy for retailers like Nordstrom or Sears, have requested that Julia Sarr-Jamois, editor-at-large at iD and a fixture for street-style photographers, curate some key pieces. For what? I don't really know, the article was vague. Do you want to calculate the total? Of course you do.

How much you will incur to get Tommy Ton's attention:

3.1 Phillip Lim Dress: $1,405.
Garrett Leigh Sunglasses: $540.
Givenchy Shirt: $1,035.
Saint Laurent Shoes: $1,250.

While I can barely afford that CB2 chair that would have accented my corner wall so graciously making me look like an adult in my soon-to-be late 20's, spending $4,230 to assimilate into Sarr-Jamois is, um, rational, right?

Her favourite music video is TLC's Waterfall.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

people to know: louis w.

Summer has finally reached it's climax and while that normally falls somewhere in July, this year, it's August. Sure, we could be discussing the three finger rule or the sock-less trend, but you know what's more interesting than pre-fall: fall.

My ability to predict trends makes me kind of precocious on my own standards. I predicted Vaseline would be the new lotion and look where we are. Vaseline is not the new lotion. It should have been, it's cheap as fuck and it's multi-purposefulness should really increase its market value.

I've discussed shearling before and I'm going to reiterate it again with the release of Louis W. for A.P.C. From 3.1 Phillip Lim to Carven to Richard Chai Love to Lykke Li's No Rest For The Wicked music video, shearling is having a moment.

This French brand, A.P.C., collaborates with other people than American rappers, ahem, Kanye. Louis Wong is a co-designer at A.P.C., but wants to stray within the brand with his own capsule collection of divine leather goods. For fall 2014, inspiration continues from his last collection of British and French black and white films from the 50's and 60's. Essentially, the collection is the same, but with more refined detailing that will set you back a hefty sum.

In particular, I have my eyes on the Maurice Jacket. In a bomber silhouette with a plethora of pockets, the true selling feature would be the contrast between the shearling and the suede body. The Louis W. is emblazoned on the tag with a nostalgic typeface as if it was an author designing for the French brand.

It's appropriate that you clutch all the fall magazines to the beach.

Photo: APC

Saturday, August 2, 2014

sufjan stevens loves to kiss, boyfriend found

The act of exchanging saliva can be quite the mundane task of being in a relationship. Albeit, if you have not experienced your first kiss yet, Sufjan Stevens, singer/songwriter, wearer of wings and the elusive boyfriend to all, elaborates on why we should all love pre-coitus

For Sufjan Stevens, though, it may not even lead to coitus. And that's okay.

Stevens contributes his angelic vocals to a tribute compilation to Arthur Russels and explains why he chose to cover A Little Lost and why kissing is forever infinite.

He says: I like "A Little Lost" because it's all about kissing. I love kissing. If I could kiss all day, I would. I can't stop thinking about kissing. I like kissing more than sex because there's no end to it.

Stevens, who sounds like he has a perpetual flow of saliva, loves kissing. Oh, and the track is fucking good too.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

the five point difference

Creating the perfect luxury sneaker for urban 20-somethings to wear as they mosey around their daily routines is taxing. Designing something original, on the other hand, is more difficult than consuming the just released news that the funnel cake at Canada's Wonderland is 1660 calories.


Just like how there's just a five point difference (what is the five point difference, anyway?) between Zara and let's say Celine, Balmain, Chloe, Isabel Marant, etc., these Marc Jacobs Classic Hi Top Sneakers are akin -- if not distant cousins -- to Common Projects' Achilles.

The design is muted, clean and the logo is coincidentally embossed just to the periphery of the heel. Just like the Achilles. Coincidence? I don't know. The only real deviation is that the MJ sneakers are designed with a cap toe. Cap toes are equivalent to square toed shoes.

The Common Projects Achilles takes the win and you can now enjoy your funnel cake.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

trend spotting: video edition

Lykke Li, a Swedish delight juxtaposed with a perpetual melancholic disposition, has released her second video: Gunshot. Li, cruises through what could possibly be the set of The Walking Dead's season 5 set with her face cloaked in ghostly makeup.

A bucket hat makes a cameo. Let's investigate.

At the beginning of the first chorus, she finds herself enclaved by a group of men. They push and she doesn't seem to be bothered. Why? Is the power of the bucket hat trend just too insurmountable?

We can not see the wearer's face, but we can identify that the bucket hat looks well fitted, is of a neutral palette with some green undertones in a army print.

A marvellous bucket hat only ScHoolBoy Q would approve.

Friday, July 18, 2014

lexicon: super

The other, other day, I biked to a few home decor shops because I was in dire need of shower curtains to remedy my super dull bathroom from being on The World's Most Mundane Bathroom list. I browsed, I used my judgment and have come to terms that tasteful shower curtains are really, really hard to come by.

After about 20 minutes of cruising the aisles, because I am that quick of a shopper and found nothing, I went outside to unlock my bicyclette only to be confounded by the fact that my handle bars have been stolen from my bike. I empathized with my bike the way you would empathize with the loss of a dying house plant. I was super fucking livid.

Most recently, a phenomenon similar to normcore or being basic, the general discourse between friends, coworkers, and eavesdropping other conversations on the patio, the word, super, is being used quite liberally like a trend. Applied in a sentence once is fine. There's emphasis that you had an amazing time in Morocco and I didn't, I super get it. However, the overuse of a single word multiple times lacks emphasis like how one should scarcely use italics.

For example, when critiquing Christopher Kane's men's spring 2015 collection, to put it literally, his collection was super cool, super colourful, super geometric and super street style ready. The credibility got displaced somewhere between super colourful and the fact that I'm not an authoritative critic, relative to Suzy Menkes.

Or am I?

Like obvs, totes and LOL slowly being filtered out of our discourse, so too, will super and be replaced by some other banal adjective.

Photo: Jak and Jil

Thursday, July 17, 2014

the value of sneakers

There's something palpable about a high-low collaboration that makes me want to pull out my debit card with about less than $62 credit and put a down payment on these sneakers on layaway. Do companies -- small and large -- still do layaway?

I can, to some degree, promise a bi-weekly payment of $17.

I'm going to be frank, there are really cute baristas in this coffee shop right now (RSquared). What I'm really trying to be frank at, is that, am I the only person who didn't know about the first white collaboration? Okay, revoke my street cred because I had none to begin with anyways.

Ricardo Tisci, purveyor of t-shirts with aggressive and non-aggressive animals, will be releasing his second collection of Nike moon boots sneakers for sneaker enthusiasts world wide. While these sneakers are Beyonce and Jay Z On The Run tour ready, you kind of have to be patient if you don't live in Europe.

Lets talk commodity, because why not. Economically speaking, commodity is created to satisfy the needs and wants of consumers. Sociologically speaking, bloggers, designers, influentials, etc are creating this fallacy of yearning and they're doing a damn good fucking job at commodity fetishism. Tisci collaborates with Nike -- meets the demands of Kanye fans. Relative to other collaborations, lets say for example, Rick Owens x Adidas, his shoes are setting you back a few hundred, where as Tisci x Nike are setting you back no more than $300.


The value of a product is quite arbitrary, but not really. In terms of design, the Tisci x Nike design is skewed towards the Nike aesthetic and the Owens x Adidas design is leaning towards team Owens. Both are high-low collaborations and both are designed to be skewed at either one end of the spectrum.

The question is: who do you want your consumer to be?

Monday, July 14, 2014

dubious term for the modern day gentlemen

There's a new amalgamation in the air and it's not about Alexander Wang x H&M. Nope. This one is the worst. Like, yuppie worst. No. More like, super fucking disgusting that someone had to coin a term for it worst. It's almost similar to finding out that your best friend is a republican supporting anti-gayness.

What happens when you combine physical activity, paid sex and your choosing of sexual identity?
Something like a convoluted "spornosexual" sounds genuinely appropriate. Essentially, it's a male who enjoys sports and porn and what I like to call the Modern Day Narcissistic Normie Bro living in Liberty Village with access to social media who's easily manipulated by corporations.

(It's important to note that these men are not gay, but they can be.)

The upgrade from metrosexual is that the apparel you don don't define you. Rather, your ability to bench press an insurmountable number is pivotal. What these men don't seem to be miffed by is that they appreciate being objectified to their physical attributes because that's what woos women and themselves.

What I am miffed about is the normalization in homosexuality being acceptable in spornoexual routines.
The art of grooming is now longer allotted just to gay men, it is now appropriate for heterosexuals to consume this culture. Interesting, though, is that I've noticed a shift in that heterosexual men are becoming "feminine" while gay men are yearning for this ludicrous "masc" ideal.

Society, man.

So... Germany vs. Argentina/watching porn/posting a selfie while doing the aforementioned activities.