Saturday, January 4, 2014

copywriting, it's not like writing in your journal

I always fathomed what a career (any career) in FASHUUN would look like and so far my search has been pretty bleak. What interests me with a blog is that I have this fascist type creative control in how I wish to publish what I want, in the tone of my choosing. I am not promoting fascism. I am encouraging you to be your authentic-self like you should have been in your freshmen year of high school.

SSENSE: my dream wardrobe curated almost daily just for my viewing pleasure. How do you not get aroused when a set of Christopher Kane printed pieces get posted? When pieces get disclosed, there's a lot of labour into publishing. There's stock photos, models, make up and what I am solely interested in is: copywriting. Writing for commodity.

They're currently hiring a copywriter. I've never been a copywriter, but I feel like I could be a good copywriter. I know the difference between colours and the definition of opaque and transparent. Qualified, I tell you. This is my chance to put all the essays I've written in college and university to good use. Of course, I am going to have to figure out how to shorten a 5000 word essay into five sentences, max. Okay, facetious copywriting is en route.

1. Markus Lupfer Blue and Black Leopard Colourblocked Sweatshirt: Have you seen a colourblocked sweatshirt this amazing in your life? No, because you haven't lived until you live in what could cause a seizure. It's 100% cotton (amaze) and suitable to wear when swapping dic pics.

2. Saint Laurent Red Plaid Shirt: You are Canadian and yes, you love plaid. However, you're no northern Canadian. You are either from Toronto, Vancouver or Montreal and you wear Saint Laurent made of 100% wool and it's made in Italy for your pleasure. Then, you can tell all your friends that you bought it on sale. Sale. (Still pretty steep when you could have went to the now closed Zellers.)

3. Givenchy White Bambi Crewneck Sweater: Here's the gist: we all want to look like Amanda Seyfried via Givenchy fall 2013 campaign. Just don't forget to belt it. Everything is made in Portugal and that's excellent. Factory tour soon?

4. Saint Laurent Blue Suede Paris Pumps: Okay, ladies, it's pretty disgusting that society marginalizes you, but that income gap is ever so decreasing. Teeny tiny. There's statistics! (Somewhere, I'm sure.) But when you feel like you need to gain what you need by getting pretty: blue suede pumps! It hold powers. Those chauvinistic pigs are probably donning square toed shoes. It's not on sale, but with that promotion, maybe?

Photos: SSENSE

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