Monday, February 24, 2014

what constitutes a gay scarf?


Other than judgmental humans labelling shit.

The last two months of the polar vortex left me stationed inside my home and resulted in various indoor activities. I have been hand vacuuming lately, learning how to make banana bread and just recently I finished knitting a scarf. The aforementioned scarf put me in dept at $50. As a fledging newcomer to this sport designed for people living off their pension, and the hipster, I had to purchase needles, which cost me $15 and $35 for the yarn. I used natural fibres: 100% wool. None of that poly shit that gives you unwarranted rashes.

The design is relatively banal. Knit. Repeat.

Then, I got cogitating, what are the connotations surrounding select scarves. Is one more masculine than the other? Does wearing a scarf make you look more gay than your other male counterparts? Are McQueen silk scarves just for Nicole Richie? And what am I going to watch now that CNN cancelled Piers Morgan's show and will SNL create one last spoof?

This video by Pop Roulette, a satire (?), addresses the "gay scarf" with some animated rainbows discharged out of an asshole. I didn't really learn much, except that, gay scarves are preferably the infinity variety. They come in a variety of colours and prints and should be substantial enough to void your peripheral vision. Old Navy is dull and they just never fit right, of course. Urban Outfitters, the retailer offering occasionally offensive apparel is gay scarf friendly, is ideally where you should pick up your gay scarf.

The issue in the video isn't about gay scarves. It's the fact that you just lied to your grandmother.

Photo: Jak and Jil

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