Thursday, March 20, 2014

the size debate, where are we going?

Today's guest judge is none other than Canadian fairy queen, Grimes. Topic: cock. It can breed you, blind you (through ejaculation) and in certain sadistic circumstances, it can be a trophy (via castration).

According to Dr. Christopher Morriss-Roberts, cock size does matter. In regards to both homosexual and heterosexual males. There's research on the correlation between cock size and masculinity. The larger the cock size, the bigger douche you are. Albeit, too large, and you risk being redundant.

In the primitive years, wouldn't hunting your meal be considered masculine? Nothing beats a hot sweaty man bringing you sweet potatoes to the table. Or perhaps, today, donning Prada's spring/summer 2014 collection of floral prints and Rick Owens unisex wedges will define your masculinity.

There's an upkeep to your masculinity, in which, you must fuck everything in sight to remain alpha. That electric socket, fuck it, then tweet about it. That eggplant, fuck it, then Instagram it. Just fuck everything, please.

"Semi-erections are the new erections", says Grimes.

Photo: Grimes - Oblivion

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