Friday, May 30, 2014

what has your underwear done for you?

Welcome to Pacific Row's Irreverent Guide to Surviving World Pride, a sporadically updated series that will ensure a safe and fabulous week of debauchery. Use a condom. 

Surviving: Underwear

I could categorize this under sartorial, which is imminent, but underwear in the gay community is such a "fundamental" aspect of our sex-obsessed culture that it's entitled to a solitary post.

The best underwear in my drawers at this very moment is a 5-pack (I've lost a few) of logo-free underwear that doesn't necessarily hold my penis and testicles in the right form, but they are comfortable as fuck. Did I mention they were $9.99 at Winners paid for by my parents?

In all honestly, I do own a few pairs of Calvin Kleins, C-IN2, 2(X)IST, etc because unlike said underwear, paying a heavy sum to firmly hold your cock is kind of worth it. No? It could be more likely that because we're inundated with such hyper-sexual images of these underwear ads modelled by gay porn stars that we, too, want to embody this ethos in the form of underwear. It's similar to designers wanting you to buy into their brands by purchasing a $100 key fob.

We're finally included in this unattainable body image through underwear!!

Past Pride events in Toronto that I have been to, I have noticed ubiquitous "gay" underwear brands blinding me from a mile away. What I propose is that you take a trip to your local Shopper's Drug Mart or hipster-friendly American Apparel and buy yourself some logo-free underwear and promote normal body images.

Photo: American Apparel

Sunday, May 25, 2014

today in music: elly arranges her disposition

When it comes to hair, like clothes, how you dress before you leave your home is set accordingly to how you feel at that very moment. At least in my daily life, that is how I like to approach the curve balls life throws at you. I hate maintenance. I hate haircuts. I hate that my barber refers to women as chicks, but he cuts damn good hair and his price is competitive.

Did I mention this barber hands out free combs with his business # (that's the number sign) emblazoned on said combs?

La Roux, also known as Elly Jackson, also known as the woman who hit mainstream success with the track Bulletproof, thus, percolating every bar in all of North America into a nuisance. Jackson is back with a new track titled Let Me Down Gently and if I didn't know any better -- I believe she's referring to her mane.

Once protruding like a beautiful unicorn's horn, Jackson has let her hair down gently. In her new video, she's brooding compressed angst while sitting in a half-lit room and she's beautifully stationed on a chair. Then she runs off somewhere.. Bye!

La Roux hits The Danforth Music Hall on June 1.

See you. There. Maybe.


Friday, May 23, 2014

the bicycle cool factor

There are two things in this world that I am certain about and: 1. that joggers in the public sphere should not become a trend because what does it even mean?! and 2. that biking to work kind of arouses all sorts of body parts. (Hint: elbows.)

There's one thing that I am uncertain about and that's denim. I own 3 pairs of denim. I really only wear one of them because they make me look slimmer than usual. The caveat, though, is that it's a button fly and I have to leave one unbutton for comfort. Though, I'm really more of a trouser person so I haven't overzealously pursued the quintessential denim. Soon. I'm cogitating fall 2014.

I'm pro biking to work, to your Friday date, to ruin your favourite trousers, what have you and I'm con with fucking being doored on King St. And so, Bike to Work Week commences May 26 - June 1st (but it's really everyday, except from Nov - Feb) and are collaborating with Dutil to give out free bike lights!

They're really just raving accoutrements.

Why does Pacific Row think you should bike to work?

1. It works out your gams.

2. It's faster than the TTC.


4. To achieve the urban illusion that you are better than non-bikers. Cigarette in hand. (Smoking is gross.)

5. To piss off Rob Ford.

6. For that non-chalant look of holding your bike on the street with one hand (at the bar or by the seat [extra cool points for holding it by the seat]) while you look for a secure place to lock your bike.  Subtract 5 points for locking it to a helpless tree or a dangerous gas meter.


Thursday, May 22, 2014

on the idea of the perfect sneaker

It exist. Just not today.

Fresh from thinking about selling my gently used and nicely scuffed Superga's online (something Golden Goose cannot counterfeit), as per-usual, I went online window shopping for a new pair that will be gentle and kind on my feet. Of course, visually appealing sneakers are just as important of a feature as finding the perfect husband with a full-head of hair.

Ami, a young French label garnering attention over it's specialty beyond trends and it's ability to be: wearable. These are the type of clothes that you can wear to work, the beach, to your next health clinic visit and at times, even a wedding. I'm really bored of wearing suits.

This leather/suede sneaker appealed to me on so many horizons. It's sleek, minimal, stark, but not too stark and it added a splash of colour at the heel of the sneaker. I'm sold. I would have pulled out my credit card that I just paid off for these sneakers, but.. There's always a caveat.

The logo. Where's it's placed and how it was designed.

The logo is quite strong and forward and not very subtle in what I am personally looking for in a sneaker. It could have been sized down to the size of an edamame bean or placed on the tongue where it can be slightly hidden by the laces. It also just feels rather.. cheap. As if, I just earned an honour in Boy's Scout for learning to fend off pollen and stitched it in a rather quite conspicuous area.

This look is good right here, though.

Photo: Mr. Porter

Thursday, May 15, 2014

the canadian contingency

Because we're all not lucky enough to be born in America. Or Europe.

I tend to make quick decisions without having contemplating alternative options. There are repercussions for shit like this. I recently bought a pair of Superga's that I thought were my size only to realize that after a days wear that I had to concede to said sneakers. I'm out $80.

COS news kept pouring into my news feed on Twitter and I subsequently visited their website to learn more. You can sign up for their e-mail list and receive 25% off their purchase. Jumping the fucking gun. Per usual, I used my Hotmail account. Free shipping to the U.S.! I assumed that meant Canada, too, right?


There's a contingency plan. Many, actually. Sign up anyways and mail it to any of your friends, relatives, Instagram friends stateside and ship it to their address and have them ship it to you. Don't forget, if you know anyone in these European countries: Austria, Belgium, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden and the UK, befriend them kindly because they can ship you COS and you can ship them maple syrup.

Also, cool Asians of Opening Ceremony and revival brand Kenzo, Humberto Leon and Carol Lim,  stock carefully selected pieces of COS at Opening Ceremony and they ship to The Great North! That block-color sweater! They spell colour without the u. Just silly...

Can we marvel in the beauty that is British born Ben Allen fronting COS' spring '14 campaign. Marvel. His. Brooding. Handsome. Good Looks. He described his best asset as his "ability to socialize" and that is exactly what I'm looking for in a model friend.

Photo: COS

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

bad girls

When I am feeling less than fashionably inspired, I normally flip through the pages of some Japanese fashion magazines that I picked up at Narita airport to jolt me back to life to solidify that cropped ankle pants will the be next trend for men.

I am gambling my new house plant on that trend.

Today is the day I would work on some funk moves via YouTube. Wrong. I wanted to see Solange parade around on stage at Glastonbury or see her grind to Bad Girls at a laundromat. Instead, all the search results related to Solange are cluttered with videos showcasing that Beyonce does have a fucking sister.

Her name is Solange and she is an artist of her own and killing outfits in Mary Katrantzou, Azede Jean-Pierre, Opening Ceremony and Kenzo.

Wouldn't it be fun to be locked in closets with said designers?


Photo: The Fader

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

everybody needs a carrie

The last time I needed formal attire was for a wedding last year and the adventure was choosing the right dress shirt. Other than that, I don't care for dress shirts, but I do love myself a great casual shirt.

It's a lifestyle thing.

It was season six of Sex and the City and Carrie and Burger went on an outing that would truly define their relationship. They went to Prada. They drank some champagne, Carrie tried on some dresses and Burger was disturbed by the price of Prada. I feel, I, was more disturbed that Burger refused to spend a small fortune on what Burger would wear to many of his book tours.

There were no book tours.

According to Details magazine, the shirt industry is concerned that young men aren't buying enough Prada. Okay, just any kind of dress shirt, really. It's clear that we still buy the suits -- sans shirts.

Probably, most likely, the 20 something's in today's world aren't fucking around in corporate offices requiring crisp conservative shirts. What if, the majority of 20 somethings are creatives working in an environment where Naked and Famous jeans with a River Island tee is just as acceptable. Or maybe, we're just jobless.

Or maybe, finally, it's socially acceptable for men to express their personal style and show some keen interest in fashion and creating new rules in saying "fuck the dress shirt, we've been fashionably oppressed for too long".

Photo: Prada

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

the summer turtleneck

It is not a thing.

Last summer (the summer where all I wore was breton stripes), I contested that summer toques should not be a trend. Why? The purpose has been forfeited. I don't necessarily need to explain why because you're most likely questioning it yourself. Summer toques. Question mark.

This elusive, no where to be seen within a mile radius summer, has got me questioning more ludicrous fashion contradictions with mother nature. Is it okay to wear a turtleneck in the summer? This is a spring issue, so, maybe it's a spring trend. Which, I guess, kind of makes it acceptable? Actually, this is a June/July issue, which, I am assuming he is spending his summer in Latvia.

The real issue should be about Matt Bomer's coming out story and how important it was to marry his partner Simon Hall, etc. But, the real story is that Matt Bomer is wearing a turtleneck on the cover of a summer issue for Out magazine. The weather in June/July (damn double month issue) does not subject you to that of a turtleneck. How about a breton tee with 8 inch seam khaki shorts and a pair of white sneakers. Or, a crisp white shirt with floral shorts and a pair of Birkenstocks.

All perfectly acceptable outfits, just not the turtleneck variety.

Photo: OUT