Monday, June 30, 2014

spring '15 trend to try now: exposed shirt

Nip slip ensues. Society calls gender police.

Women sure are lucky. In relation to style, exhibiting skin is socially acceptable, if not preferred, when designers are offering crop tops, booty shorts and even cut-out sandals. Men on the other hand are limited to shorts below the knee, banal t-shirts and sneakers all year round.

I want miscellaneous.

Browsing through men's spring 2015, something big is happening in men's fashion -- we're being exposed. Like, not buttoning your shirt exposed. Fascinating! Could this be the answer to crop tops, booty shorts and cut-out sandals? Maybe.

Look to Acne Studios on how to expose a vest, properly tie a jumper around your waist and I'm going to concede on how you can properly wear shorts below the knee. Marc by Marc Jacobs and Dries Van Noten feel exposed jackets are not only practical, but keep you well ventilated. As for MSGM, read: Acne.

It's going to rain tomorrow. Experiment.

Photos: Style

Thursday, June 26, 2014

chicken legs, not the food variety

It's officially summer (and World Pride) and you want to turn on the air conditioner to you know, enjoy a relaxing summer in your home and not have sweat down your ass, but that would cause your hydro bill to dip into your shoe savings. You don't want that. What do you do? If you're at home, you strip down to the bare minimum: naked. And if you're heading out for a stroll. You wear shorts.

Easy, right. No?

While women get praised for having hot dog legs and achieving that elusive thigh gap, men get scrutinized, shamed and simple pragmatic locker room banter about said skinny gams can get internalized. In short, some men then refuse to don shorts and opt for pants when it's fucking summer outside.


Guiseee, our chicken legs, we have advantages that stocky men don't have. There's some disturbing arousing sensation when I see a tall lanky man with the chickeniset of chicken legs, with just the right amount of leg hair, albeit, they do also need to dress well for the arousal to take place. (See above, fashion porn.)


1. We're sample size (not me, you).
2. We can experiment with proportions. A 6-8 inch inseam works best on us.
3. Our metabolism, man.
4. We can shop the women's department. (Saves us money!)

Embrace your chicken legs. Give zero fucks.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

a mixed bag of nuts, nuts being music

Welcome to Pacific Row's Irreverent Guide to Surviving World Pride, a sporadically updated series that will ensure a safe and fabulous week of debauchery. Use a condom. 

A good outfit, any outfit, needs confidence the moment you step outside the door because batshit crazy people like me can tell if it's contrived. For example, I wore a pair of vintage off-white oxfords I purchased at the Bellwoods Sidewalk Sale this past weekend and the shoes did not match my basic grey tee and and navy pants. I left the house and didn't have time to change.

Something inside me died.

Fortunately, my roommate functions like a delivery person and dropped off my dirty (which, gives character) Superga's and my mood transitioned from existentialist to the person I was truly meant to be: insert superhero here.

Like any fabulous party, it requires three things: people, chips and music.

The shit they play in gay clubs fukkin' sucks, hard. That's why, for World Pride 2014 I have curated the perfect party mix to get you from "fuck, I'm single" to "fuck, I'm single during World Pride!" You have Le1f rapping about racial fetishes in his single Wut to Vampire Weekend's Rostam Batmanglij's tryst with the obvious, Diplomat's Son.

Use a condom.

A caveat: my playlist can get melancholic, as it should.

Brooke Candy - Das Me
Charlie XCX - Superlove
Chester French - Black Girls
Grimes - Oblivion
Iggy Azalea - Pu$$y
La Roux - Uptight Downtown
Le1f - Wut
Lykke Li - Unrequited Love
M.I.A. - Bad Girls
Miley Cyrus - Do My Thang
Missy Elliott - Hot Boyz
Peaches - Trick or Treat
Robyn - Dancing On My Own
Solange - Losing You
Vampire Weekend - Diplomat's Son
The xx - Islands
Young Love - Discotech

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

sale is here, fall is coming

And fashion season always confounds me.

Sale season is currently percolating online retailers and brick-and-mortar stores to make way for precious real estate for fall/winter/autumn/whatever-you-want-to-call-the-season pieces like Neil Barrett's "Mercedes-Benz" emblazoned logo jumper.

I sifted through sale websites from Mr. Porter to SSENSE and found one item worth "investing" because white sneakers come in all iterations and Saint Laurent's White Mesh & Leather Stripe Sneakers currently reigns supreme.

This white sneaker beauty is, part stark, part gay-parade and is currently for sale at 30% off. That translates to $416, from $595. What a steal!

Get them dirty and scuffed and the resale value astronomically increases.

Thank you.

Friday, June 6, 2014

the only hat you should care about right now

Not because Rihanna donned it, but because Rihanna donned it.

The trend-to-be bucket hat first went to consciousness when just two weeks ago, I just finished a 20 minute commute and I noticed that my neighbour was entering his home sporting a denim bucket hat. He styled it with aviator sunglasses, a denim shirt, cropped khakis, high-top white sneakers and confidence you can't counterfeit. Questions arose: did he go fishing? Does he have fisherman lineage? How long did it take you to grow your hair to be styled into a top knot? What was enclosed in that LCBO paper bag?

From that clear moment, when you notice one bucket hat, the severity of that consciousness becomes acute and then all of a sudden -- bucket hats are permeating Toronto.

Maybe just Trinity Bellwoods Park.

I have been making mental ticks in my head how many times I have seen said hats and it's currently ticked off at just under five ticks. Very, very little ticks for a city that follows trends religiously. I fucking hate shopping. However, I was compelled to shop for a bucket hat and after 30 minutes of not finding one, I fucking gave up.

I'm going to have the accoutrement find me, or log on to Amazon.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

grindr, it's as if ashanti was singing about you in "foolish"

Welcome to Pacific Row's Irreverent Guide to Surviving World Pride, a sporadically updated series that will ensure a safe and fabulous week of debauchery. Use a condom. 

Surviving: Grindr

Last week, I had to make a pragmatic (but thoroughly thought through) decision that would truly affect the homeostasis state of my wardrobe. There were two trousers, both purchased at the same time and both rarely washed for the sake of keeping the colour prolonged as much as possible. The decision was whether to keep or purge them due to the fact that there were progressive gaping holes where my crotch would permeate. They weren't visible and therefore, they had at least a couple more months until their final mortality.

I purged (donated) them with the simple fact that there were said holes and sometimes penises get exposed and I could go to prison.

Perry doesn't sit well with prison.

I also don't sit well with the fact that Grindr likes to think it can update my messages whenever the fuck it wants. We're temporarily consciously uncoupling because like said pants, there's huge gaping holes in the app that quickly need to be repaired.

What I propose is this, Grindr users, delete that app for one whole week during World Pride. Feel the anxiety and take a Xanax or eat a cucumber (phallic vegetables are supposed to help with withdrawal) to process this huge leap forward. Perpetually looking at torsos? Not anymore!  Constant dropped messages? So over that shit. Flaky bitches? Castrate (figuratively).

What you will have time for is making a healthy breakfast in the morning with chia seeds and flaxseeds, instead of doing it in tandem with Grindr. You can finally get to reading all those periodicals you saved on your Reading List because you just never have enough time in the day. Obviously. Finally, you can actually meet people in physical reality, no more guessing their height, weight or endowment and you avoid the long conversation of how you really met. Albeit, the stigma isn't there anyway, but the anecdote of meeting someone in a raw form is much more amusing.

Procedure (for Apple users): hold the icon until it moves and then press the x button.

Cruising with dandelions.


Photos: S. Chung

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

the men of cfda

But really only about Thom Browne.

At last night's CFDA's awards, I was exposed to Rihanna's nipples and I was okay with it in a way that Instagram currently has qualms with. They're just nipples. They don't cause climatic change and they don't cause civil wars. They're just nipples.

It was rather unorthodox with the men's attire, opting to expect the unexpected and they did. The men of last night saw Tyson Beckford sporting slippers with a suit - refreshing! Marc Jacobs wore pants - he's not allergic! And then there was Thom Browne, purveyor of cropped pants, thematic runway shows, chiseled jaw line and most importantly: the short suit.

The outfit is nothing new (he wore the same silhouette to last year's CFDA's), the same way you would expect Jenna Lyons to show up to an event in a blazer, pants and pumps, but for some unascertained reason, it feels new.

It feels new on the notion that he's wearing something casual at a formal event and it undeniably works. Because when fashion people dress up, they don't actually dress up. He's rewriting formal rules and he's bringing along short suits. Sans nipples.

Photo: Getty