Thursday, June 26, 2014

chicken legs, not the food variety


It's officially summer (and World Pride) and you want to turn on the air conditioner to you know, enjoy a relaxing summer in your home and not have sweat down your ass, but that would cause your hydro bill to dip into your shoe savings. You don't want that. What do you do? If you're at home, you strip down to the bare minimum: naked. And if you're heading out for a stroll. You wear shorts.

Easy, right. No?

While women get praised for having hot dog legs and achieving that elusive thigh gap, men get scrutinized, shamed and simple pragmatic locker room banter about said skinny gams can get internalized. In short, some men then refuse to don shorts and opt for pants when it's fucking summer outside.

SOCIETY!

Guiseee, our chicken legs, we have advantages that stocky men don't have. There's some disturbing arousing sensation when I see a tall lanky man with the chickeniset of chicken legs, with just the right amount of leg hair, albeit, they do also need to dress well for the arousal to take place. (See above, fashion porn.)

Advantages:

1. We're sample size (not me, you).
2. We can experiment with proportions. A 6-8 inch inseam works best on us.
3. Our metabolism, man.
4. We can shop the women's department. (Saves us money!)

Embrace your chicken legs. Give zero fucks.

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