Monday, January 5, 2015

take the vest, or a vacation

After New Years, you made a perennial mental commitment to joining a fitness club. Good for you and better for the fitness club you're about to join because they know your commitment to attending is akin to a dean lacking to create any sexual assault dismissals. Most likely, you're joining for various null reasons.

Lets take a gander.

The most pragmatic scenario would be that your friend has joined, and you too, wishes to jump on the bandwagon. Nothing new here. You've noticed a spike in torso Grindr pictures, and you too, want to reach ideals like Adonis. The gay community is doomed. Or could it be all under your 15% body fat that all we really want to do is sport athletic wear in and out of the gym. Trend forecasters are dubbing it athleisure - I am designating this trend as a failure to move on with life.

Before you shell out the the monthly fee or the insurmountable lump sum, consider what else you could do with that money because quite frankly, you're a lazy fuck.

SSENSE is having an additional 25% off their sale today only! Pick up this Junya Watanabe vest and burn fat with heat with the 90% down. Science, I think.

Season 3 of Girls releases tomorrow on DVD. Purchase one for yourself and one for all your friends because who doesn't love that scene where they dance in the beach house. Not a fan of Girls? Looking is out tomorrow too. Follow the lives of three somber homosexuals promenading through San Francisco.

Go to Flight Hub right now and book yourself a flight. Just go. Fuck your career - fuck the heaping load of laundry you need to tend to. Fly somewhere warm. Learn something new. Sleep with someone, consensually. You can go from YYZ to MIA for $400 (+/-).

Fuck this winter.


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