Monday, July 11, 2016

the annual tank top debate

There's The New York Times article circulating the internet titled For Men, Summer Poses the Greatest Fashion Challenge. It's a compelling title and more than that, a subject I have difficulty finessing with my personal wardrobe during the summer. As I read through the less than 500 words (I assume) piece, I realized it was more of an advertorial than a piece providing solutions to men who avoid looking like children in the sweltering heat.

You can look like a child wearing a tank top. At least I do anyway.

To look like the model in the photo and to transition from a young professional eating ramen on Queen West to licking popsicles in Muskoka, you are required to drop at least $2000. I'm on this challenge (with myself) where I'm not buying any clothes this summer and so far so good. Goodbye capitalism. Hello travels.

I have been a little apologetic to some of my peers because I have been wearing the same shorts everyday during the work week. Then, the only person who was uncomfortable with wearing said shorts everyday was myself. One pair of shorts, style it as creatively on top above the pelvis to your liking to avoid being apologetic.

Here's the thing about summer: it's hot, it's humid, you can eat watermelon essentially at an hour of the day and violence occurs because violence and weather are correlated (that's something different entirely and something for you to think about).

Your clothing options are limited, by societies standards, but are not limited because Olivier Theyskens is making a return and soon skirts will be our thing. But for now, in 2016, we are limited shorts, tank tops, t-shirts and short-sleeve shirts. You could sport pants, but why would you sport pants and sweat profusely?

9 out of 10 times when I am deciding what to wear, I usually avoid the tank top because it feels very unforgiving on my slender body and I often have to surrender my ID when purchasing alcohol because I can be mistaken for a 17 year old who just graduated high school and lost his virginity to Pokemon, not sex.

However, as my style has evolved. I am providing no solution to wearing tank tops during the summer and to strictly wear t-shirts (seldom tank tops, though). I am looking forward to fall and sporting layers, upon layers where I will then get mistaken for an elderly person at a check up for his annual colonoscopy.

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