Tuesday, November 22, 2016

the game to play this season

Carrie Bradshaw once asked Mr. Big for a loan because she couldn’t afford the down payment for her apartment. She was wearing Chanel when she made the request, interestingly enough. He gave her a cheque and she ripped it up over dinner with her friends. What she then likes to do is try things on for fun, with Miranda, but not actually buy anything.

No one has given me a cheque for a down payment and I don’t own anything by Chanel. What I do have in common with Carrie is that I, too, try things on for fun. While there’s no fun in having a full shopping cart with absolutely zero dollars, I can still play with the idea.

What's in the bag??

Sale season is quickly approaching and I don’t actually know what is going on sale, but I can play a game with myself. I’m really that bored. I will be playing the online lottery shopping game. I put products in my shopping cart in hopes that they go on sale and pay with whatever credit I have left on my card. According to emails I have received as of today, sales are coming. And that means my shopping cart will be satisfied like it ate a full bag of chia seeds.

This Marni Heavy Rib Beanie is understanding my true potential as a hipster. It should fit just very snug to cover my skull and nothing else. Probability of a sale: 30%.

Sleepy Jones collaborated with David Coggins that makes me want to sport head-to-toe corduroy, but that sounds like a really bad idea, which is also a really amazing idea. The function is for home, but I see it as a great coffee shop jacket. Probability of a sale: 70%.

Sunnei is one of those brands that alludes effortless without even trying. These herringbone pants are a testament to that fact. Therefore, it should be illegal if these pants don’t go on sale. Probability of a sale: 90%.

There’s always that one luxury item that just doesn’t make any logical sense to buy regular price and Golden Goose sneakers will always go on sale if you are patient enough. These ones are great because they look like bowling shoes you can wear outside of the lanes. Probability of a sale: 100%.

In the spirit of the failing politics in America, this patriotic Etudes tote will make us forget that Steve Bannon crawled out of his asshole and into American lives to make it a living hell. Probability of a sale: FREE. But really 40%.

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