Monday, March 27, 2017

i tried dressing like a fuccboi

I lasted 30 seconds.

We all know at least one fuccboi in our lives. Or at least, an affiliated fuccboi who has ruined our sartorial lives either directly or inadvertently. They must be stopped, or sterilized.

I technically didn't try dressing like a fuccboi, but my shopping cart would contest and that was stressing enough as it was. I learned that Yeezy sneakers, or whatever fuccbois are calling it, and ripped jeans just aren't my forte. In addition to the negative connotations they carry.

Ever so reliable, Urban Dictionary states that a fuccboi is "A bitch ass basic boy that does stupid shit just to get a reaction out of people. Fuccbois usually think that they are cool or suave, but they are not. They tend to be pussy ass bitches in most situations."

There are a plethora of fuccboi types living on the planet. I didn't know this until I Googled fuccboi and that lead me to this article by Complex. As of this morning, I thought the only fuccboi was Hypebeast Goth, but it turns out that there are as many types as there are fish in the sea.

I don't have a personal vendetta with the fuccboi, per se. But what is it about the fuccboi that irritates people?

The typical Toronto fuccboi parties at Apt. 200 on West Queen West, The Libertine on Dundas West and Locals Only on King West. These clubs are natural breeding grounds for picking up any BAE. They're shopping at Nomad, Working Title and Jonathan and Olivia to pick up the latest Gosha Rubchinskiy t-shirt. They hire a local photographer to take sick ass photos in front of the TD Towers.

The fuccboi needs to be seen: da clubz. The fuccboi needs nice and expensive clothes: Yeezy. The fuccboi needs content for Instagram: the downtown core.

If you checked off all three, you've met the requirements for alpha douchebag.

What has the fuccboi done sartorially for fashion? Nothing, really. Okay, Zara ripped them off so that must afford the fuccboi some credibility. We can't formally file a complaint with the CFDA or anything, sadly.

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