Friday, June 23, 2017

these shorts are for adulting

There's this theory published somewhere on the internet that if your style doesn't evolve, you don't evolve as a person. I'm not sure where that theory came from or where/if it was even published. I do believe that a slow and natural progression in the way you pick and choose, and style your clothes is as important as choosing what to eat for breakfast to start your morning.

Over spring, I declared short shorts officially over.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with shorts so short that the possibility of a dick slip is in the 99 percentile, but shorts so short just don't arouse me like they once did. There once was a time, during my mid to early twenties where all I wanted to sport was short shorts.

Short shorts to the office. To the dentist. To class. All while risking dick slips, no less. The idea, the notion of a dick slip in my late 20's was quite appalling. More than that, short shorts don't feel very adult. I don't really know what that means, but as I am leaping towards entering decade number three, it doesn't feel right for me.

A few years ago, I expunged the denim shorts. Again, not very adult. I learned that style lesson from Chloe Sevigny stating that she was too old for denim cut offs, she said that around the age of forty. I am not even thirty, but that is why you listen to older people and take that type of advice early on.

Where am I now? I am exercising a longer inseam (above the knee) and a wider fit (think JNCO). Think wide legs for shorts! Imagine! What's harder is finding them in real life! IR fucking L. Funny enough, shorts of that variety are quite rare to find. Mr. Porter, nope! Steven Alan, not even. Thrifting, maybe! Mainstream fashion is championing the romphim. I am more annoyed with the title than the actual product itself. Focus on the wide leg shorts!

The wide leg shorts are very adult. Like going grocery shopping on a Sunday adult and prepping meals for your 9-5 job adult. If that's how you want to feel, might I suggest the wide leg shorts! They provide a feeling of security and a conservative outlook on style. Not to be confused with mid-town aesthetics, but think Acne Studios shopping at Whole Foods.

I made my case.


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